Online BUYERS BEWARE!

Recently, I’ve been reflecting on the things I’ve purchased. As I’ve mentioned many times, Costco is my go-to store. Some people complain about having to buy items in large quantities there, but I usually appreciate it. For example, when I stock up on toilet paper or paper towels, I don’t have to worry about running out for a long time. I remember when they first started selling gasoline—I asked how much I had to buy! Thankfully, I could purchase just as much, or as little, as I needed.

What gave me the idea for this post? Well, Hubby received an email from our local grocery store offering free delivery. That is, the delivery was free, but we still had to pay for the groceries. I prefer shopping in person so I can assess the quality and find the best values. Plus, I sometimes stumble upon some real bargains while at the store. Despite my humble reservations, Hubby eagerly took advantage of the free delivery offer. The man who delivered the groceries dropped off all the bags and left. As I began to unpack them, I had a sudden premonition. As it turned out, not everything was a disaster, but a few things were a nightmare.

Hubby said he ordered five green bananas. What was delivered? FIVE BUNCHES OF BANANAS for a total of 22 bananas in all. He also said he ordered a dollar’s worth of fresh ginger for a recipe I wanted to try. The base of the ginger that was delivered was the SIZE OF MY HAND, with each of the three attached roots almost a FOOT LONG! (My recipe called for just one tablespoon of minced ginger.) To all the math geniuses out there, how many tablespoons would that be?

Hubby also ordered honey. So what’s the big deal? They delivered LOCAL NATURAL HONEY! It costs twice as much as generic honey. Sure, you naturalists may agree that is the way to go – but for us farm hicks, a bee is a bee, honey is honey, and money is money! What should I do? Well, I can freeze the ginger. When I pass away, my heirs will inherit it along with my other belongings. Honey lasts forever, so that they can inherit the honey too. But the bananas—what a nightmare! To make things worse, I really hate bananas. They give me gas, and I don’t mean burping! Everything seems to give Hubby gas, so he can’t tell whether it’s good for him to eat bananas or not!

I Googled banana recipes. There were many options, but most are just variations on one thing – banana bread. Some with yogurt, some with sour cream, some with white sugar, brown sugar, or even applesauce! But here’s the thing: almost all these recipes call for just two or three bananas. If you’re staring at a pile of 22 bananas, that’s a LOT of banana bread! Yes, you can freeze bananas. How does one go about it? Well, it’s not exactly straightforward. Most people recommend peeling them first, though not everyone agrees. Some say freeze them whole, others suggest slicing or quartering them lengthwise. The consensus is that once frozen, bananas are best used for baking or smoothies. My primary concern is storing them in an airtight plastic bag. Good luck with that! Have you ever tried to remove all the air from a plastic bag? Whenever I open it slightly to let air out, I end up letting more in! Some people get around this dilemma by fast-freezing banana pieces in ice cube trays. But who uses ice cube trays anymore? Don’t we all have built-in ice makers?

So, I continued researching banana recipes and found one to try, but it turned out to be a disaster. No longer having the stamina to mash bananas by hand, I used my mixer—big mistake! The bananas turned into liquid mush instead of a mash. Did that stop me? Of course not. I went on to bake banana cookies and banana bread with the mushy bananas. Alas, Hubby couldn’t stand either one. Did I give up? No! I decided to freeze the mushy cookies – that should work! Nope! They were so mushy that even after a day or two in the freezer, they wouldn’t freeze. Sadly, I threw them away. Okay, what about my mushy banana bread? I read somewhere that toasted banana bread is delicious, so I carefully sliced a mushy piece and put it in the toaster. Could things get any worse? Yes, they could! The bread was too soft to pop up. It folded over, and I had to dig it out with a fork. (Don’t worry—I unplugged the toaster first. At least I have enough brains not to electrocute myself.) Sadly, I ended up throwing away the mushy banana bread pieces, too.

But the saga isn’t over. The next morning, while toasting my store-bought crumpet, smoke poured out of the toaster. Even Hubby noticed the burning smell. I unplugged the toaster again and found mushy banana bread still stuck on the elements! I thought maybe if I ran the toaster one more time, it would finally burn off—big mistake. The smoke was even worse this time. I had no idea bananas could burn for so long. Too bad it’s too warm outside to light the fireplace—I could toss in the leftover bananas and have enough fuel for the entire season. After all that effort, I still have tons of bananas left, but no longer have any flour, sugar, or eggs in the house. That will take another trip to the grocery store to replenish these necessary items. A personal trip – NOT delivery! So, what to do with the remaining bananas? I took the bull by the horns—or should I say the banana by the peel—and mashed them by hand. They had become so ripe that it was an easy task. Turns out, I just ended up squeezing the banana from the peel. It reminded me of milking cows! I then put the squeezed bananas in plastic containers and froze them.

After a few days, I asked Hubby if he’d like a banana smoothie. “Yes!” he replied. I got out the blender and added the frozen bananas. I hadn’t planned to have any myself, but after Hubby’s culinary input, I changed my mind. Along with milk, he suggested adding a spoonful of Nutella and peanut butter. It turned out pretty good, with just a slight hint of banana flavor!

We haven’t had bananas in our house for a few weeks now. But that will be short-lived as Hubby just informed me he once again ordered groceries to be delivered. When will he ever learn?

This incident reminded me of things I purchased online some years ago. I bought a set of hot rollers from Amazon. I read all the reviews of the rollers, and they weren’t favorable. Most of the reviews said the rollers didn’t curl their hair or even add body. Yep! I bought them anyway. Why? Because I reasoned that those giving the negative reviews probably didn’t have the thick, beautiful hair that I have! Come to think of it, I didn’t see one positive review.

When the rollers arrived, I was so excited to use them. DISAPPOINTMENT! My hair was even straighter than before and flatter to my head. Yes, I tried them a few more times, reasoning that I may not have let them heat long enough or didn’t leave them in my hair long enough. WRONG! So I shoved the rollers into the cupboard. Then, a few days ago, while searching for something else, I stumbled upon those rollers again. They were too pretty to throw away.

Should I give them to a friend or loved one? That could jeopardize those relationships, and, to be honest, I don’t have many to spare. I could donate them to charity and claim a tax deduction. But to do that, I’d have to take them myself to Angel View, a local charity, since they don’t pick up donations for just a few rollers. I could find some other items to donate, but I’d have to sneak them past Hubby, which is quite a challenge. If I delivered them myself, I would place them in the bin outside their door and hope I didn’t get caught on their security cameras!

I asked a friend for advice. She suggested donating the rollers and, while I’m at it, getting rid of a toaster she recently bought that burns your hand when retrieving toast. I have yet to make a decision. The unwanted rollers are still just sitting around. What do you advise? Do you have any surplus items you want to add to my charitable donation? Can I interest you in a fresh green banana? Yup! The latest grocery delivery has arrived!

I hope you have found this post valuable, and remember, your comments are always welcome and appreciated.