TRAUMA DRAMA

Hubby is always encouraging me to go to the fitness center, or should I say NAGGING me! Much to his surprise, the other day it was I who wanted to go, and I asked him to join me. No, I didn’t want to exercise. I wanted a steam bath and a jacuzzi. I also like to wash my hair there and shave my legs. The shampoo is much better than the stuff I have at home. Also, there is shaving gel instead of the plain soap I usually use.

With great zeal, Hubby joined me, and off we went. I don’t think he exercised that particular day either, but took a long jacuzzi – too long as it turned out, and almost to his untimely demise! Once we got home, within minutes, he had a sudden attack of wheezing and tremors that wouldn’t go away.

I called 911.

Four or five handsome, strong paramedics arrived. I was in awe! I begged them to take me instead! Not to be! Then there was another surprise. Our next-door neighbor knocked on the door! Our neighborhood is generally standoffish and not overly friendly, perhaps because it’s a seasonal community. After living here for several years, I’m only close to a few people. My kind neighbor said she saw the ambulance leaving and asked me if I needed help. I declined, but after some coaxing, I agreed to let her drive me to the hospital. She was very friendly and a good driver, too!

Hubby was delivered to the hospital emergency room and immediately cared for. This is my sage advice to you. If you or a loved one is having a medical emergency, please call 911 instead of going to the emergency room on your own. As it turned out that evening, over 300 patients who came through the front door were in the emergency department waiting to be triaged. Many had waited for hours while lying on the floor!

After checking Hubby’s vitals, the doctor was concerned about his oxygen level and thought it best to admit him for the night. I was thankful he was getting such good care. Now I had to get home. The neighbor told me to call her when I needed a ride home, but it was now after midnight, and I didn’t want to impose any further. I texted her to let her know I had another way home.

So, now what to do? Hubby asked if I still had the Uber app on my phone. I assured him that I did and departed. One problem. That Uber app was on my old phone! I only had Uber Eats on my new one! No snide remarks, please. The only way to contact Uber to get a ride is through their app. I usually have no problem downloading an app. However, with all the chaos and exhaustion, I wasn’t 100% and not in the mood to mess with a new phone app. Instead, I googled for a substitute for Uber, and this is what I found!

There’s a ride-sharing service called GoGoGrandparent, which provides transportation for seniors via phone, and also Granny Go Go, which offers companion and escorted transportation services. I called Granny Go Go and was immediately given a lengthy sales pitch by the woman who answered. For so much a month, I could get so many rides and on and on. All I wanted was a one-way ride home from the hospital. It’s midnight! I hung up.

I saw others leaving the hospital for the parking lot. I was tempted to ask someone for a ride home, but decided that wasn’t a good idea. For one thing, they could be sick or exhausted themselves, and if not, they may murder me!

Back to downloading the Uber app on my telephone. How hard can it be? So, I bit the bullet and tried to download the Uber app again. Still no luck. They kept asking me all these personal questions, and all I wanted was a ten-minute ride HOME. Eventually, I realized I was applying to be an Uber driver rather than simply trying to get an Uber ride. So it was back to the drawing board. I finally downloaded the right Uber app, and voila! I was on my way home! The driver was great, and by the way, Uber charged one-third of what Granny Go Go quoted! Unbelievably, I’m still getting offers from Uber to be a driver!

So the next day, Hubby is still in the hospital. He sent me a text listing the items he wanted me to bring to him. As I gathered those items and began putting them into a bag, I noticed the bag I chose was probably not appropriate. It was a beautiful, red, white, and blue striped soft cloth bag. Then I saw the logo – HONOR A LIFE – FOREST LAWN – and in smaller print – Funerals – Cremations – Cemeteries! Definitely not a good bag to bring to a hospital ward full of sick people. I quickly put the items in another, less provocative bag! WHEW! That could have been a major faux pas! Once back at the hospital, I ran into another neighbor. He was taking one of his friends in for some heart tests. This is the most I have spoken to any of my neighbors in years! The next day, Hubby seemed to be doing okay. The hospital staff was excellent, and he was really being doted on. I hope he does not expect the same five-star treatment when he gets home!

Now I ask you! Why are hospital gowns so ugly? Hubby’s was a sickly blue pattern that made patients look even sicker than they were. Also, they are just flat sheets that open hither and yon! While strolling down the corridor, I saw a husband and daughter helping their wife/mother, who was connected to all sorts of tubes, slowly navigate along. I commented that she was wearing the same gown as my Hubby!

As sick as she was, she managed to quip, “Well, I sure hope he looks better in it than I do! ”I looked her up and down carefully and remarked, “Nope, neither of you looks that great!” This brought peals of laughter from her, her loved ones, and others nearby. It could have turned out ugly, but as luck would have it, my smart-aleck rave was taken as the joke intended. On my way back to Hubby’s room, I noticed a familiar face in the hallway. It was yet another neighbor! We chatted for some time. Ironically, before this encounter, she would walk right past me without even nodding. This was the most socializing I’ve done in years!

Hubby was asked what he wanted for lunch – he said meatloaf. It sounded good. So he was brought a nice tray with a covered dish, real silverware, and something to drink. When he lifted the top off the dish, we were dismayed. What was this? I told the server the food looked like it had already been eaten. This rave didn’t go over very well with the server or Hubby, who immediately pushed his tray away and went to the toilet. I realized right then that I needed to pay more attention to my filter.

Hubby shared a room with other male patients during his stay. The first two occupants of the other bed in the room were okay, but the third was a disaster! He kept yelling for a nurse, trying to get out of his bed and setting off so many alarms that the nurses were run ragged. He also kept trying to open the curtain that separated the two beds in the room. Hubby and I were shocked when he interrupted the sincere hospital chaplain in the middle of saying a prayer for him, asking him if he wanted a beer. Out of desperation, I went to the nurses’ station and offered to kill him. They appeared to give it serious thought, but eventually declined my offer.

A large framed picture of Dwight D. Eisenhower greets everyone who enters the hospital. For those who can’t recall, he was the US president in the late 50s. I didn’t pay it much mind, but as the days progressed, he started to look younger and more handsome to me! I needed to get out of there!

Hubby continued to improve while undergoing several tests and scans, but nothing too weird was found. Of course, they didn’t scan his brain! “Ha! Ha!” Once released and on our way home, Hubby was suddenly well enough to give me driving instructions – oh, goodie! When to turn, when to stop, when to go, how fast to go – and on I drove. Did it occur to him that I managed on my own these past days?

I had an epiphany during those chaotic days. I’m going to get up my nerve, go to the DMV, and get a handicap decal for the car. Vacant parking spaces at the hospital were few and far between. For the most part, I had to use valet parking, which I hate because I don’t like anyone else driving my spotless car. Who knows what they might touch! One day, I did find a parking space, but I had to walk so far to the entrance that I almost ended up crawling on my hands and knees to the lobby.

But all in all, we are THANKFUL! Thankful for reasonable health, grateful for good medical care, and thankful to meet a wonderful neighbor!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Have you had any unique hospital experiences? Are you thankful for anything special this year? Your comments are always welcome and appreciated.