Old Dog? New Tricks!

Well, Hubby is up to his old tricks. A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about him ordering groceries online titled “Online Buyer’s Beware.” To refresh your memory, he meant to order five bananas but ended up ordering five bunches of bananas instead. He also ordered ginger root. The piece of ginger root delivered was the size of my foot! My recipe called for 1TBS. Using my most effective feminine wiles, I tried to discourage him from ordering online again, but I was unsuccessful. He had already paid for one year of free delivery from the local grocery store and was determined to use it. Is it really free if you had to pay for it?

So once again, he ordered groceries online. He asked if I wanted anything. “Yes, yogurt, please. The order arrived. Once again, I was unpleasantly surprised! The grocery bag contained a whole gallon of canola oil and a single half-cup carton of yogurt! I know! I know! I didn’t specify how much yogurt!

A gallon of canola oil? What was that about? Hubby was adamant, saying the shopper must have included it in error. We reviewed the order he placed. There was no error on the part of the shopper – It was listed in black and white on Hubby’s delivery order! He’s claiming the cat walked across the keyboard while he was placing the online order with the store! Will I ever be able to teach Hubby some new tricks?

In the meantime, what to do? Well, as they say, if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Can I make canola ade? No! So I Googled, “Uses for canola oil.” Here’s what I found: Canola oil is a light, golden, and versatile cooking oil made from crushed canola seeds. It has a neutral flavor that makes it ideal for everyday cooking, such as sautéing, stir-frying, baking, and deep-frying. It’s also excellent in salad dressings, marinades, and baked goods. Beyond the kitchen, it is used in biodiesel, cosmetics, animal feed, lubricants, and some pesticides.

What? I’ve used canola oil for cooking many times before, but never heard of those other uses.

Canola oil is a popular cosmetic ingredient for its lightweight, fast-absorbing texture and its rich content of essential fatty acids, which help moisturize, soften, and nourish the skin. It’s commonly found in lotions, creams, conditioners, and soaps, where it hydrates, improves elasticity, and supports the skin’s barrier. However, those with acne-prone skin should use it with caution, as its moderate comedogenic potential (pore-clogging) may contribute to breakouts.

Hmmm. I could make my own beauty products! After more research, I decided to make caffeine-infused canola oil. Supposedly, this substance reduces facial puffiness and cellulite and stimulates hair growth. How hard could it be? All you do is steep coffee grounds in canola oil, then strain them. It took more effort than I had imagined. There are many ways to do this. I put 1 cup of oil and 1 cup of coffee grounds in a mason jar. I lined the bottom of my slow cooker with a dishcloth, set the mason jar inside, and filled it halfway with water. Then I turned the slow cooker on low for four hours. The final step was to strain the thick, clear brown liquid through a coffee filter into another jar. When I first looked at the cooled mixture, I thought there was no way it could ever pass through the coffee filter—but it did, even though it took a day or two to drain completely.

The good news? My homemade, caffeine-infused canola oil works! My facial wrinkles are less pronounced, and the puffiness under my eyes has also diminished. And so far, no acne! As for the cellulite, I gave up on that years ago—not even a gallon of canola oil could fix it all! One word of caution. A few coffee-bean fragments slipped through the strainer. So, occasionally, after applying the oil to my face, I have to delicately remove those remnants. As for using it on my hair, I decided against it. The research said the coffee-infused oil can stain light-colored hair, and my gray is considered light-colored! The good news is I can use just plain canola oil for my scalp. Just warm up a small amount – massage it into the hair – put on a shower cap – wait for about 20 minutes – then shampoo!

For years, I’ve had a flaky scalp – I say flaky as I don’t want to suggest that I have dandruff. To make matters worse, I prefer to wear black clothing – It doesn’t make me look as fat and goes with everything. But black clothing and dandruff don’t work well together. I’ve done this canola oil hair treatment twice now, and voila, no more flaking! Of course, almost everything I own now has canola oil stains!

Is canola oil healthy? Some say yes, others say no! Just like many other things. Remember when we were told not to eat eggs? Now they say, “Give an egg a break.” The esteemed Mayo Clinic considers canola oil a “good fat” (unsaturated) that’s great for heart health, especially when used in place of saturated fats like butter. Someone told me that canola oil never goes bad, but that’s not true – once opened, it lasts about 6 months.

I continued my research since a gallon of canola oil is a lot to use up! I’ve come up with several more uses for it, and the list goes on!

Unstick stuck zippers – we no longer use zippers – just elastic for us!
Clean pearls – mine don’t get dirty!
Loosen sticky keyholes – most of our locks use remotes!
Emergency lamp oil – don’t know about you, but we have electricity!
Bear and raccoon bait – who are they talking to? Daniel Boone?

Most of the remedies I found require additional ingredients to be combined with canola oil. One recipe suggested using canola oil with mashed bananas for hair health. I wish I had known that when Hubby ordered 22 bananas, but at the time, I didn’t have a gallon of canola oil.

But one use of canola oil really caught my attention: making biodiesel. There’s a lot of controversy around using vegetable oil as a fuel source, but with some modification, it’s apparently possible. However, the process involves a hazardous chemical reaction. If you have a large quantity of canola oil and know someone with an older diesel vehicle, consider giving it to them so they can make their own biodiesel.

Now, back to the title of this post, can an old dog, or husband in this case, learn new tricks? Apparently, it depends!

This colorful expression was popularized by a man named John Heywood in 1546, when he wrote: “The dog must learn when he is a whelp, or else it will not be, for it is hard to make an old dog stoop.” Today, most dog trainers and wives discount Heywood’s assertion and claim it is indeed possible to teach an old dog, or husband, new tricks. They admit it requires a concerted effort using a variety of techniques:

Patience & Consistency: Older husbands may need more repetitions, and clear cues (verbal/hand signals) and rewards are crucial.

Positive Reinforcement: Use high-value treats, praise, or his favorite toys to make his learning enjoyable and rewarding.

Adapt to Physical Needs: Choose tasks for him that are gentle on his aging joints rather than strenuous activities.

Manage Sensory Decline: Use hand signals for hard-of-hearing husbands, and keep them in your line of sight if they have poor vision.

Okay, that’s it. I’m going to stop worrying about what to do with my remaining canola oil and have Hubby fetch me a glass of white wine!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Any thoughts on canola oil, old dogs, or online shopping? Our readers would love to hear from you!