The Big Bad Wolf

Recently, we learned that scientists had successfully cloned the extinct dire wolf. The word dire comes from the Latin dirus, which means dreadful, ominous, or detestable. The dire wolf is an extinct canine species native to the Americas thousands of years ago. The original canis dirus weighed as much as 150 pounds, about 25% heavier than the modern gray wolf (canis lupus). The largest known dire wolf specimens were found in the Aucilla River region of north Florida. Scientists extracted DNA from a 13,000-year-old tooth and a 72,000-year-old skull to create healthy dire wolf puppies. I’m not quite sure why they did this. Perhaps you readers have the answer.

The reasons the dreadful wolf went extinct are numerous: climate change, the disappearance of prey, and, of course, humans. While the Ice Age doomed those wolves, it didn’t make a dent in us Minnesotans!

What did dire wolves eat? Anything they wanted, of course—that’s what made them so dire! Their jaws were so strong that they could crush bones. Hubby says they could even digest my pie crust! Their main diet consisted of horses, bison, ground sloths, and camels. However, they would also inhale a squirrel, rabbit, or the occasional human if they wanted a snack.

Ironically, those early humans are accused of reducing the dire wolves’ food supply. But let me ask you this: How many horses, ground sloths, and camels have you eaten? Some of us eat bison, but horses, ground sloths, and camels for dinner almost make me a vegetarian. Notice I said almost! So, how much of the wolves’ food supply do you think those early humans ate? And why would these scientists want to clone such a ferocious animal? Haven’t they read the scary fairy tales about big bad wolves? Take the story of Little Red Riding Hood, for example.

The original three-hundred-year-old tale was quite gruesome. Of course, a modern, enlightened view has watered it down to the point where the vicious wolf got justice, but only after due process and a fair trial. His defenders would exclaim: Maybe he was starving! Maybe Little Red Riding Hood and her grandmother bullied or fat-shamed him! Perhaps he came from a dysfunctional wolf clan. There are so many possibilities. In case you forgot the original story:

A little girl in a red hooded cape walks through the dense forest to deliver food to her sickly grandmother (perhaps wine and cake, depending on the translation). A large wolf stalking her wants to eat the girl and the food in the basket. After he inquires about her destination, he suggests she pick some flowers as a gift for her grandmother. While she searches for flowers, the wolf goes to the grandmother’s house and gains entry by pretending to be Red Riding Hood. He swallows the grandmother whole, climbs into her bed, and waits for the girl, crudely disguised as the grandmother.

When Red Riding Hood arrives, she notices her grandmother’s strange appearance and asks some inane questions. After some back-and-forth, she comments on the wolf’s teeth, at which point the wolf leaps out of bed and eats her as well. In author Charles Perrault’s version of the story, the first to be published, the wolf falls asleep afterward, whereupon the story ends.

If the scientists who cloned the dire wolf haven’t read about the ravenous wolf in Little Red Riding Hood, they surely must have read about the one in “The Three Little Pigs.” Every child learns that fairy tale.

That story begins with the title characters being sent out into the world by their mother to “seek their fortune.” The first little pig builds a house out of straw, but the big bad wolf blows it down and devours him. The second little pig builds a house out of sticks, but the result is the same. The third pig was of much higher intelligence and built his house of brick, so he survived and ended up eating the wolf! As a kid, I always wondered why you would eat something that had just eaten two of your siblings. Then again, siblings aren’t necessarily fond of each other, and it’s certainly one way of getting even.

Do you remember Dolly the cloned sheep? I understand that some men find sheep strangely attractive. Was that why Dolly was cloned? Dolly was a female sheep cloned by the Roslin Institute in Scotland using a cell from a ewe’s mammary gland. It was then implanted into a surrogate sheep mother. What I found interesting is that no male of the species was involved in the process. How’s your testosterone level, guys?
When I first saw a photo of Dolly, I jokingly told my old boss I thought I saw a resemblance to him! He didn’t find that funny. I got no raise that year, so there’s no surprise there.

What kind of life did Dolly have? She lived in a flock of sheep at the Roslin Institute. Dolly had six lambs with a Welsh Mountain sheep named David. Their first lamb, Bonny, was born in the spring of 1998. Twins, Sally and Rosie, followed the next year, and triplets, Lucy, Darcy, and Cotton, were born the year after that. That doesn’t sound like a bad life. However, at age six, her health declined. She developed arthritis, and tumors began growing on her lungs. So, the scientists who gave her life decided it was humane to end it. The average lifespan of a sheep is twelve years, so there is some concern that cloned species may not have long, healthy lives. I certainly hope that’s true of cloned viruses. Dolly is currently on display at the National Museum of Scotland, attracting significant interest from people around the globe. Do men gaze at her longingly? Do they find her more attractive than Angelina Jolie?

So, should we interfere with Mother Nature by cloning? After the horrific COVID pandemic, we learned that the deadly virus was likely manipulated in a Chinese laboratory. The specific goal in that case was gain of function. Scientists wanted to see if they could make the COVID pathogen more powerful—ostensibly so they could develop defenses against it. This would allow for better planning of disease control measures and exploration of potential vaccines and therapies. In plain terms, viruses may be cloned for research purposes to determine how to eliminate them! Isn’t that an oxymoron? It may be a noble effort, but it comes with inherent risks, as we all discovered the hard way. Could there be similar future risks to humanity from cloning wolves or sheep? Are these Chinese scientists of the same mindset as those who cloned Dolly or the dire wolf?

Some consider man’s and animals’ evolution and development to be linked. Consider the highly publicized Scopes Monkey Trial in Dayton, Tennessee, in 1925. High school teacher John Scopes was charged with violating a state law prohibiting teaching human evolution in public schools. Specifically, did man evolve from monkeys? The trial, regarded as a clash between religion and science, resulted in Scopes’ conviction, but the verdict was later overturned on a technicality. The trial stands as a landmark case in the ongoing debate over evolution and creationism.

Don’t forget about Darwin’s survival of the fittest. Until I researched this topic, I thought he meant that the smartest survived. I could never agree with that. I’ve observed too many intelligent people who lacked common sense. Darwin meant that those who survived could adapt (much like being married). I really don’t know what to think about this cloning issue. I thought I had it all figured out until those supposedly intelligent scientists cloned the dire wolf!

A closing question. Should people ever be cloned? I would be okay with some people I know being cloned, but then again… And so many other questions to ponder. Would you want a dire wolf for a pet? Who would you like to clone? Would you clone yourself, your pet, or your loved one? Would you clone me?

Your comments on this post are welcome and greatly appreciated. Readers appreciate hearing each other’s views on the topics!