Weddings

For several months, I’ve been focused on weddings. One of those weddings was for a great-nephew. I didn’t know him well and had never met the bride, but I know his parents and grandparents well, and they are dear to my heart. I didn’t attend this wedding because it was far away for one thing, and I had just returned home from a lengthy vacation. I was also obligated to attend a different wedding soon after with personal responsibilities, and that event would require overnight travel. So I decided not to attend my great-nephew’s wedding but did send a lovely gift.

I started to think about the various weddings I have attended. My earliest memory of that matrimonial ceremony was being a flower girl at my older sister’s wedding. I didn’t want her to get married—I wanted her to stay home with me! Her new husband understood my concern and earned my eternal respect by buying me a chocolate milkshake before they were married.

I was eight then—perhaps a little old for the typical flower girl. So, why wasn’t my three-year-old sister selected? As the baby of the family, I suppose she wasn’t considered reliable enough. The wedding was nerve-racking and very sad for me. The only thing I recall about the experience was the effort I made not to burst into uncontrollable tears. Yes, a few tears rolled down my cheeks that day, but I don’t think anyone noticed.

I’ve been a bridesmaid at a few weddings over the years. It was okay, but I didn’t have much money in those days, and the expense of buying a particular dress I would never wear again always caused me some angst. A friend told me of a bridesmaid incident that happened at her wedding. For some reason, the bridesmaid dresses were not ready in time, and the bridesmaids were desperate. What to do? They put their heads together and came up with a great idea. Being young, they all had sexy black dressing gowns and black robes at home. So that is what they wore, and they received many compliments!

[What if that happened to senior bridesmaids? What would they have instead of sexy dressing gowns? Old flannel pajamas? A faded long tee shirt? Or worse yet, nothing!]

I read about a bride’s dilemma when trying on her wedding gown the morning of the big event. The beautiful handmade dress had been repeatedly measured except for one thing—the sleeves. They were too tight. Try as she might, she could not get her arms through them. The seamstress was called, and she came right over, but she could only let the sleeves out a little as the material in the sleeve area was too closely cropped.

By using vaseline and a lot of tugging and pulling, the bride was able to force her arms through the sleeves. She couldn’t wait to remove her gown after the ceremony to relieve her swollen arms! I want to mention that the bride was of average size, and so were her arms, so her size wasn’t the issue. I’ve had a few tailored blouses and dresses, but I can honestly say I don’t think the circumference of my arms has ever been measured.

Some years ago, Hubby and I attended a family wedding. He had constantly reminded me that he was the yearbook photographer in high school, so I put him in charge of taking photos at the wedding—a big mistake! I thought I could trust him. Wrong!

Two of the nieces attending the wedding were in their early 20s. They had long blond hair and great figures—they were each 5’9” tall and weighed around 125 pounds. Their dresses were long, vibrant silk—one was blue, the other red. They wore high heels! They were stunning. Wherever they went, heads turned, gawking at their beauty. I finally got the pictures from the wedding. This was years ago when we had to wait for them to be developed. Picture after picture was of the two beautiful nieces! There was one picture of the bride from a distance and one of the groom’s back. There were no other pictures of the wedding. So I sarcastically asked Hubby, “Where are the wedding pictures?” I think he was chagrined as he said that was all he took! I wondered if he even remembered there was a wedding—what wedding?

A co-worker of mine told a cute wedding story. His elderly grandparents were attending a wedding. Sitting in the church pew, they didn’t recognize anyone. They thought it odd, but then again, they hadn’t seen many of this side of the family for years, and their eyesight wasn’t what it used to be. A few days later, relatives asked them why they hadn’t attended the wedding. They said they had. After further questioning, they discovered they had gone to the wrong wedding! I wonder what the bride and groom thought of two strangers attending their wedding? I suppose they each assumed they were just distant relatives of the other spouse.

I wore a beautiful white outfit to a wedding I attended a few years ago. I went to a special boutique to buy it. The attendant knew it was for a wedding and told me it would be perfect. Now, keep in mind this was purchased in California. The wedding was in Minnesota. It was a huge faux pas. My relatives pinned my ears back for wearing white at a wedding. “ONLY THE BRIDE IS TO WEAR WHITE!” My granddaughter told me I better not wear white at her wedding. So I was snarky and said, “I won’t wear white to your wedding as long as you deserve to wear white!” She hasn’t spoken to me since!

A wedding I later attended took place outdoors in a rustic location. Being one of the few relatives of the bride, I was to be seated near the front. The path was cobblestone, and let’s face it, I am no spring chicken. My cousin, who happened to be the father of the bride, graciously walked me down the path to where I was to be seated. I glanced at the attendees and could see the confusion on their faces when they saw the bride’s father walking me down the aisle.

So, before I sat down, I turned around and said to everyone, “I have good and even better news. The good news is, yes, this is the father of the bride. The even better news is I am not the bride.” That resulted in a roar of laughter, and later, I was told how funny that was and how I gave them a good laugh – bored while waiting for the wedding to start. My relatives, also in attendance, did not find it amusing, and once again, my ears were pinned back.

Now it is time to talk about the most recent wedding. It was my son’s wedding. I was told by more than one person I could not wear white. I also could not wear red since it was a traditional Chinese wedding. I could not wear black as that is a sign of mourning – blue is also a sign of mourning – and I look terrible in green. So I jokingly said, “I guess I’ll just go naked.” My family, tired of my wedding shenanigans, responded, “You know, Roberta, you don’t always have to be the center of attention!”

As the groom’s mother at a traditional Chinese wedding, I was to light a candle as the ceremony began. I viewed this as a challenging feat. I’ve given numerous presentations to large crowds in my past career, but this was an entirely different matter. For one thing, I’m not as steady as I once was. What if the match doesn’t light? What if the candle doesn’t light? What if I catch the chapel on fire? Believe it or not, I practiced lighting candles. I was relieved when all went well. Hubby walked me down the aisle and up the steps where we stood before the candelabra. As I lit the candle, it started to wobble and tilt a little, so Hubby reached in and straightened it for me. What a relief.

The rest of the event went well, with lovely tea ceremonies and energetic tiger dancers. There were many tears and lots of laughter – it was one of the most enjoyable weddings I ever attended. My Minnesota relatives really enjoyed themselves. I had forgotten how much I missed them and how protective I felt toward my younger sister.

Most of us danced during the reception, even though some dances were meant for groups rather than duos. People of all ages and sexes got up and danced to lively songs like Macarena and YMCA, as well as a few new songs. The dance floor was packed.

The wedding was finally over, and I didn’t embarrass anyone! Yay!

Oh, by the way. I wore a pink dress with a lot of embroidery to the Chinese wedding ceremony. I thought I looked like a doily, but no one complained, and I didn’t get my ears pinned back!

Have you had any interesting experiences with weddings? Your comments are welcome; my readers would love to read them!