The Beauty of Retirement

Retirement gave me freedom—freedom to reclaim my time as I moved from working for a living to living for myself. I’m lucky. Except for those pesky doctor appointments, I set my own schedule and live the life I want, without the stress of a job. Almost every morning over coffee, Hubby asks, “What are you going to do today?” My usual answer is, “Nothing.” Of course, as the day goes on, I do some things. I don’t plan as far ahead as I did when I worked for a living.

Most of my knowledge of the outside world comes from television news. I no longer buy a newspaper. I can get almost everything I need to know from electronic media. Also, our local newspaper has become quite expensive. I used to have to go outside and scoop the paper off the driveway, but sometimes I would forget. It’s disgusting to pick up a newspaper that’s been in the driveway for a day or more. It gets faded and dusty. Since it’s now old news, I didn’t always bother to read it and would toss it. Sometimes I would forget to read it, even when it was pristine, so after removing the rubber band, I might throw it in the trash. When I had my own garden and made compost, newsprint was a great addition to the compost bin. That’s no longer an option, and I do miss the rubber bands.

A few items in the news caught my attention recently. One clever idea brought joy to many. It was an open window with a golden retriever named Lassie offering free kisses. There was no charge for a kiss, just a simple request to spread the love. Was it a hit? Yes, folks were lined up. Golden retrievers are always starved for affection, so this was a win-win!

Remember the Rubik’s Cube? I don’t think I ever mastered it, and I won’t try it today. Well, my dad got one, and after several failed attempts, he took a hammer to it and then glued it back together the way it was supposed to be. It certainly saved him a lot of frustration!

One news story that would have driven Dad crazy was an article about a young man who solved the Rubik’s Cube while skydiving. No, I didn’t make this story up. Ishaan Hadkar set a world record by solving two Rubik’s Cubes during a single skydive over Oceanside, California. Remarkably, this was his first time skydiving, but not his first time solving a Rubik’s Cube. Ishaan, 24, leaped from the plane at 13,000 feet. After a broken cube ruined his first attempt, he went up again immediately. He solved the first cube in free fall and the second while floating under his parachute. Maybe Ishaan did this to distract himself from the fear of parachuting. By the way, while descending, he was subjected to 120-mile-per-hour winds, making just holding onto the Cube an accomplishment.

This next news story is even weirder in some ways. Kathryn Woessner, 68, got stuck in deep, quicksand-like mud near a remote trail in north-central Minnesota. She stepped into what looked like a shallow puddle next to her minivan and was trapped in the mud for three days. Two hikers miraculously found her and came to her rescue. The men said they heard someone calling for help. They found her with just her head sticking out of the dark, gooey mud. To make conditions worse, the woman said she was subjected to stormy weather during those three days.

In a more personal situation, once while boating at Lake Shasta, I stepped off our houseboat onto shore to pound in steel stakes to tie our lines. Within seconds, I was immersed in wet, muddy sand up to my waist. Fortunately, I had seen enough movies to know what to do. I freed my arms, leaned my body and arms as far forward as possible, and hoisted myself out of the quicksand. Unfortunately, I was wearing a new pair of Crocs that got stuck deep in the sand. Not willing to lose them, I managed to retrieve them by confronting the quicksand again.

Where was Hubby, you ask? He was at the helm of the 55-foot houseboat, keeping it firmly against the shore in the stiff wind. I wasn’t trusted with that part of the docking operation. Of course, I ended up covered with wet, muddy grit from head to toe, especially after bending over in the syrupy mud to retrieve my priceless Crocs. So, my hero Hubby hooked up the water pump and hose, then sprayed me down like a mangy dog before he let me back on board. He was so busy handling the boat that I don’t think he ever saw my struggles. Believe me, he heard about them later.

Of course, I do more than watch the news. I have email, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. That way, I can keep tabs on friends, family, and acquaintances. Sometimes I become envious of their activities, sometimes I learn something new, and sometimes I purse my lips and scoff at their foolishness. One interesting thing I learned from a Facebook friend traveling to a country overrun with insects is that insect-repellent clothing is now available. This clothing uses factory-bonded permethrin, a synthetic insecticide, to repel mosquitoes, ticks, and biting flies.

The clothing is supposedly insect-repellent for up to 70 washes. So how effective is it after 60 washes? But then I wondered why all clothing isn’t insect-repellent? Wouldn’t it be a relief not to have to carry a bottle of bug spray? What would happen to all the insect-spray companies? What about all the bite-relief salves? Could I throw my Benadryl away? Citronella candles would be part of our past! Should I buy some of this magical clothing or stay in the house?

Playing bridge takes up much of my time. I play online three afternoons a week. One game is in London, another in Australia, and the third is with people I met in bridge lessons. All this online card playing is a byproduct of the COVID-19 pandemic, and it has become very sophisticated. There’s high-quality audio and video contact with all the other players, so it’s almost like real life.

I’ve met some very interesting people while playing on those overseas bridge sites. After so many weeks, I feel quite close to them. One of my favorite players is from Tasmania, and the other is a Holocaust survivor from Brooklyn. After each hand, you can view an analysis of the bid that should have been made and how your group’s play rated. For the most part, all the participants have been cordial. There was one I had to 86. I gave her two chances, but I couldn’t tolerate any more.

I play in person one day a week at a local bridge center. Although I enjoy it, there’s more pressure and competition. Playing face-to-face can be nerve-racking. Master bridge points are awarded based on how well you play, and I must say, it’s always more fun to earn them. The good news is that I now have 5 master points and am considered a Junior Master. Before, I was just a rookie! There are positives to playing in person – snacks are provided, and some people are really goofy-looking. It takes the place of my trips to Walmart when I need to cheer up and have a laugh by looking at strange people. Speaking of laughing, I also took an academic course on comedy. It wasn’t a success story. When I described my personal experiences with stand-up comedy, the instructor pointedly reminded me that he was the one teaching the course. I found his comments embarrassing, and it turned out I knew more than he did.

The past few weeks have been spent watching lots of World Cup soccer and Fourth of July celebrations on TV. It’s very uplifting to see all the people in their red, white, and blue holiday garb enjoying America. Do I wish I were there in person? No – too many people. On TV, I get to see all the plays up close. When I used to attend the real games, I seldom bought expensive seats with the best views. And in the case of slow-moving soccer, if I happen to doze off for a minute, I get to see the instant replay.

Hubby and I have our daily challenges. We have to decide what to eat and what to watch on TV. Eating is pretty straightforward. Hubby tends to be in charge of that. What to watch on TV is another issue. Why? We don’t always like the same thing. I don’t know how many more of his WWII movies I can stand. Another challenge we all face is the sheer number of choices – 200 regular channels and 85 more on demand. That takes a lot of research and discussion.

Now and then, Hubby throws me a curveball. Recently, he asked me to make cookies that tasted like Reese’s peanut butter cups. Wow! There are numerous recipes for cookies similar to peanut butter cups, but which one was the best? Finally, I narrowed it down to two recipes. I made both while my son was visiting. My son liked the crispier ones, and Hubby preferred the more cake-like ones. What about me? I didn’t eat either. After all this effort, I couldn’t stand the sight of them. Of course, I was also full after licking the beaters and the bowl. So in retirement, it’s not that I don’t do anything. As you can see, my mind stays quite active, and I even read a book now and then!

Do you have some special activities you enjoy now or will enjoy in retirement? Our readers love to hear your comments.