Since writing my last post several things have occurred that irritated me. Please don’t get me wrong. I don’t really go around being negative or skeptical – well maybe just a wee bit. The first situation involved a transgender woman being named as International Woman of the Year! What bothers me is that the award is clearly an award meant specifically for women. So this one particular transgender woman beat out every other woman in the world? Is a transgender woman in fact a woman? Can she have children like a traditional female? Is she a birthing person? How are these things determined and just who gets to decide? Why don’t they just rename the award International Person of the Year?
So I research: Birthing Person: Someone who gives birth, regardless of their gender identity, which may be female, male, non-binary, or other. Gender Identity: The many ways people show their preferred gender to others, such as the clothing and haircuts they wear – or the roles and activities they choose. Non-Binary: Neither male nor female – but rather an intermediate or separate third gender, i.e. various sexual orientations.
Apparently the main gender issue is: just how does one want to be identified? Decisions. Decisions! I can understand identity crisis – but how hard can it be? Aren’t you physically either male or female? My years growing up on a farm persuaded me that only females of the species can give birth. But, I say live and let live. I don’t really care what someone wants to call themselves – so I am going to forget this entire subject – that is – unless Hubby tells me he wants to start playing golf from the Ladies Tees! Wait! I was just informed that you can no longer call them that – they are now called the Forward Tees! Yawn.
The second, less controversial situation, involved our Homeowner’s Association. I’ve always liked living in an HOA. They aren’t everyone’s cup of tea – but I don’t want to be responsible for maintaining the outside of the house – or even the yard. And I like the security of a gated community. However, there are times when living in an HOA can be annoying and frustrating. Weeds had grown up between our artificial grass yard and the walkway. Hubby asked the HOA gardener to please pull those weeds. His response, “I will have to check with my boss. I don’t know if I’m allowed to pull weeds.” What? Aren’t gardeners supposed to pull weeds? What am I missing? I felt my temperature rising. Thankfully, before it got to the boiling point the gardener returned and grudgingly pulled the weeds!
Then the same Homeowners Association sent out an urgent email to all homeowners. I had to read it twice before I could believe it! The topic? Urinating on the golf course! I assume the admonition was aimed primarily at the men golfers – but it was still disgusting. The email pointed out exactly how many restrooms there are on the golf course and how far apart they were. As it turns out – there is one area where there no restrooms for 4 holes. I fully expect now to see a number of senior duffers hopping up and down – from foot to foot – during that long stretch!
Then I read about a guy in Maine who had to forfeit his personalized license plates. It turns out vegan Peter Starostecki just loves tofu. He loves tofu so much he went to all the trouble of getting custom license plates reading LUVTOFU. Now, after a number of complaints, he’s had to give those plates up under a state-wide crackdown on license plates that could (if you squint hard enough) be considered vulgar. I have mixed feelings about this. The guy appears genuine. He apparently loves tofu so much he has numerous tofu stickers all over his car. What do you think?
Have you heard of “ear candling?” I just saw an article about it. You stick a cylindrical-shaped tube (candle) in your ear and light it on fire! WHAT? Yes, you leave it in your ear for 15 minutes while the candle slowly burns down! Supposedly, the heat from the burning candle sucks the wax and other impurities out of your ear. When finished – you can inspect all the impurities it sucked out! Not just ear wax – but also ash and debris from the candle burning! Many claim this rather arcane method works – but most medical experts disagree. I’m a little embarrassed to admit it, but Hubby and I tried it many years ago. Picture us lying on the floor with flaming candles sticking out of our ears! It still puts me in a state of hysterical laughter!
So to summarize the sources of my confusion: a transgender woman is named International Woman of the Year; women who identify as men may still be called birthing persons; we lady golfers no longer have our own set of tees; gardeners must get special permission to pull weeds; no peeing on the golf course despite the urgency; and finally, the word tofu is not allowed on license plates in Maine. To top it off – I once put a candle in my ear, set it on fire and let it burn for 15 minutes!
To settle my nerves, I decided to sit down and read a book. I opted for the recent best seller, “Remarkably Bright Creatures.” The basic story line was fairly standard – but with one rather quirky difference. One of the major characters was a Giant Pacific Octopus! The more I read – the more I marveled at an octopus playing such an important role in the story. The idea seemed totally ridiculous – and even more so as I was in a cynical mood! But I read it all – and only gave it a 3-star rating as it seemed so far-fetched.
Then, in the far reaches of my mind I recalled seeing an award-winning documentary about an intelligent octopus. My Octopus Teacher. I think I liked it. Being slow on the uptake, I now realize the rather fantastic plot of the book may have been entirely valid due to the innate intelligence of the octopus. Octopuses have an estimated IQ of 100 – higher than some people I know – especially on Hubby’s side of the family!
Octopuses are able to shrink themselves down to just the size of their beak – making them very capable of escape. Some aquariums line their tanks with artificial turf so they can’t get a proper grip with their 2400 suction cups. Octopuses can unlock child proof containers, use tools and actually do complex puzzles! It’s humbling to think I may be competing against an octopus when playing Words with Friends! Especially if I lose!
The Giant Pacific Octopus can open and close tank valves and escape in search of food – and return to the tank with none being the wiser. They are able to disassemble equipment. They have also been known to blast water at overhead light bulbs, short-circuiting the power supply. Experiments have proved they are able to distinguish who is naughty and who is nice. Even humans have trouble doing this.
Sadly, the life span of the average octopus is only 3 to 5 years – and much of that life is spent hiding in their den. They keep their dens clean by depositing food remnants outside – along with any bright, shiny objects they may have found. Some call this the octopus garden. In hindsight, I now wish I had given “Remarkably Bright Creatures” a 4-star rating after learning more about the amazing octopus. Still, some of the story was a little over-the-top for cynical me!
On final thing that confuses me is – why am I still doing things I don’t really want to do? I realize there are many things we don’t want to do – but do anyway to survive. A kid has to do what a kid has to do! I’m talking about all the extraneous things. The things that makes one feel sometimes like a martyr and a victim! People frequently talk me into some activity that I really have no interest in doing.
After a certain amount of nagging I often agree to do something – and then kick myself later for agreeing. Then I begin to fret. How can I get out of doing it? Should I fake illness? Should I claim to have a scheduling conflict? What if I get caught in the lies? What if I tell the nagger I changed my mind? Will they still like me? Do I want them to still like me? Will they think I’m a flake? Do I care? Of course I do! That’s why I agreed to do it in the first place!
Maybe you’re thinking – I didn’t want to write this post. I assure you that’s not the case. I love to rave!
As usual, your comments are always welcomed and appreciated and they will not be published outside this website.
2 Comments
Good One Roberta! The candle thing always intrigued me also. Although I did let my daughter talk me into a nasal wax whilst visiting her. Couldn’t get hubby to go & he’s the one who could really use it! I could never get around to trying the Neti Pot either!
I won’t comment on the transgender issue either, just enough to say I think there’s a definite unfair advantage for transgenders in weightlifting and swimming women’s sporting events.
Having eaten octopus in the Mediterranean over the decades, the most remarkable was grilled octopus in a little open corner bar in the Bronx a few years back. Now, thanks to having read Remarkably Bright Creatures I can no longer even look @ it on a menu! I think I gave that book a 4 or 5 star rating!
Mark’s niece & her German husband took us to a fabulous Stallion Show in Northern Germany years ago, I believe we were the only English people attending. Of course they served beer & sausages! Afterwards on the way out the women went to the proper enclosed bathrooms & the men stood together in a line facing away from the grounds & I was envious! Think how crowded it would have been if they hadn’t given up the bathrooms!
I’m getting better @ saying “No thanks”, even tho. a friend recently tried to guilt me into going somewhere I don’t really feel like. I still end up hosting things @ my house tho, it’s just a habit, but I am simplifying things.
And actually I think the license plate is funny, either way you look @ it!
I’ve also seen the film “My Octopus Teacher” and ’twas amazing. Octopi are wonderful creatures—to EAT! One of the best meals of my life was an octopus dinner in a cozy little place on an Aegean beach in Greece. (So is it octopuses or octopi? My problem: four years of Latin in a Jesuit HS.) Does anyone remember that the Beatles had a song called “Octopuses Garden?” Clearly the Fab Four never studied Latin.
I won’t comment on the current transgender issue, simply because it truly angers me.
HOAs: I agree that having an HOA makes life simpler, and it’s worth the rather high dues.
But I am currently involved in a major fight with my HOA. Long story short, my toilet backed up due to tree roots growing into the bowl from outside; and the water ruined the walls and and floor. Per the CC&Rs, the HOA is responsible for damage caused by something outside the building. Hint: trees tend to grow outside! The HOA rejected my claim for reimbursement; and I have just secured the services of a lawyer. Wish me luck!