I used to love to exercise. I thought nothing of riding my bike 30-plus miles up and down hills and dales. A five-mile brisk walk got my motor started. In my working days, I usually walked about 3 miles during my lunch break. I kept my home spotless, and our two vehicles were washed weekly. I even washed all the windows inside and out weekly, weather permitting.
Of course, I also did the laundry, ironed for an hour or two, and got down on my hands and knees to scrub the floors. Not only that, but I bathed, washed my hair daily, and shaved my legs! Hmmm. Shaving legs – there is little to shave anymore. If there were, I wouldn’t shave it. I am always cold and could use the extra warmth.
But I don’t do all of those things anymore! Who was that person? What happened? All that effort seems too difficult! Sitting is just fine, thank you. What’s wrong with sitting in front of the TV or computer? Words with Friends, Sudoku, and WORDLE keep me highly entertained. Playing bridge a few days a week keeps my mind active. If I want to play more bridge, I just go online. Complex jigsaw puzzles hold their own brand of intrigue for me. Sometimes, I like to gaze off into space and think about nothing!
My balance got out of whack in the past few years, so that ended the bicycle riding. Yes, I know. There is a stationary bike at our fitness center. Boring! Now and then, if Hubby goads me, I will succumb and ride it for 15 minutes while listening to stuff with my earbuds attached. I spend most of the time waiting for the 15 minutes to go by so I can get off the darn thing!
For a while, I had a cleaning lady. When she stopped showing up, I took over the housecleaning duties again, but now I am more reasonable. I don’t spend an entire day cleaning the house. My only set routine is changing the sheets every Wednesday. Of course, dishes are done daily with the help of a dishwasher. Yet, there still is the task of loading and unloading it, which gets to be a bother.
The robot vacuum does our floors. Unfortunately, I can only use it when Hubby isn’t around. It irritates him to no end – he swears it follows him around the house no matter where he goes! Why do you suppose that is? Could it be he’s a little messy and leaves a trail of crumbs or other debris trailing behind him? [Editor’s Note: Not funny!]
I no longer scrub the floors on my hands and knees. There are two reasons for this. First of all, it kills the only skinny place on my body – my bony knees. I did try knee pads for a while, but I can’t recall what I did with them. I think I gave up on them when I realized I shouldn’t be down on the floor at my age in the first place! Secondly, I had a little trouble getting back up. Actually, it was more than a little trouble. I had to scoot over to a very stable object – like the kitchen counter and, with much effort, pull myself up. I even had to stop and rest every now and then until I finally succeeded in climbing Mount Formica.
The dealer where we bought our vehicle offers a car wash anytime we want as a complimentary service. They do a great job – almost like being detailed. Now and then, I have to point out a few things they miss in the vehicle’s interior, especially the trunk. I have cautioned them not to touch any of the controls – like putting my radio on their favorite station. Other than that, it is a wonderful convenience. Before Covid, they also offered free manicures, gourmet coffee, and fresh pastries from a nearby bakery. Unfortunately, those days are gone. Great coffee is still served, and I love sipping it while I wait for the car to return nice and shiny.
Yes, I clean the bathrooms, dust as required, and mop all the floors, but the ceiling fans don’t get dusted as often as they should. Anyway, I am not as particular as I used to be. The house is clean enough.
A fellow recently told me his wife asked him to dust. He had a great idea. He got out his leaf blower and blew dust from behind every standing object, oblivious that the dust had to go somewhere. When his wife returned, she quickly pointed out that every piece of furniture and knickknack was now covered in dust. I think they are still married.
I do the laundry every week, but we don’t have as much as we used to. Clothes don’t need such frequent washing if one sits around all day. So what if there is the occasional dribble of food staining the front of Hubby’s shirt?
Unless I have an extreme reason to do so, I don’t shower every day – just every other day. Why? I don’t sweat much when I sit. Also, my skin is very dry. No matter what lotion I use, it doesn’t alleviate the dryness. Washing my hair is now a once-a-week occurrence. It doesn’t get greasy. I never have dandruff. I no longer put a bunch of products on my hair. I only brush it for 100 brushes and pull it up in a bun like every other granny. My grandmother instructed me as a young girl to brush my hair at least 100 strokes every day.
So, what is wrong with being a couch potato? By the way, there is now a whole new breed of potatoes. They are the mouse potatoes—people who sit and spend the day attached to the computer or some other device. So again, who thinks being a potato is so wrong?
Hubby, for one. He is constantly encouraging [nagging] me to get a personal trainer. I don’t want someone watching me do leg lifts, sit-ups, or deep knee bends. I see personal trainers standing by some poor, sweating soul and counting how many reps they have left. That seems like pure torture – for both of them. I used to do a lot of swimming but started to get “swimmer’s ear” and a rash on my thighs. Those were great reasons not to swim!
I walk a half mile with Hubby every other day or so – not willingly – but I know it is something I need to do! It doesn’t take long, but I secretly cherish those rainy days when we can’t walk – not a frequent occurrence in the desert.
Then there are all those annoying television commercials encouraging one to exercise and take different supplements. They show people who have purchased their products out golfing, horseback riding, racing, gardening, etc. Yes, that did pique my interest, so I researched. These supplements aren’t cheap, and several a day are needed to be effective. That put the kibosh on that.
Someone advised us to get out of the chair while sitting without using our hands for leverage. Supposedly, it is good for leg and back strength. Don’t they realize I would fall flat on the floor? Don’t they realize I already do that same strength training exercise when I get off the biffy?
Another friend advised me to consider taking Ashwagandha. I thought she had sneezed – but no – she said it was an important herb from India. It supposedly relieves stress, increases energy levels, and improves one’s concentration. Ashwagandha is Sanskrit for “smell of the horse,” which refers to the herb’s unusual aroma and ability to increase one’s strength.
Along with this equine Indian herb, yoga, massage, and acupuncture are also recommended to increase one’s stamina. And purging! I was considering these alternative methods of correcting my couch potato syndrome until it got to purging! Purging is a real turn-off to me! I still have unpleasant memories from preparing for the occasional colonoscopy.
Years ago, a loved one decided to attend an exercise class at her senior center. She came home in hysterical laughter. The exercise that day amounted to a bunch of senior citizens sitting on chairs in a circle and exercising their mouths by saying “AHH,” “BBB,” and “CCC” and going through all 26 letters.
Hubby went to a personal trainer last week. He was pretty gimpy the next day or two, but he tried to hide it from me. What amused me more was what he did later that evening. We were both chilly and decided we should turn up the thermostat. He said, “I’ll do it. I can turn it up right here from my LazyBoy with my iPad. I don’t even have to get up. Isn’t that great?”
So therein lies the rub! What to do? I have decided to write a new song. Do you know the song “I Don’t Look Good Naked Anymore?” I will do a different version: “I Don’t Look Good With Clothes On Anymore.” It’s bound to be a hit. Don’t you think?
Are you a couch potato? Or a mouse potato? Your comments are always welcomed and appreciated.
3 Comments
My sentiments about exercise exactly. I was a gym rat, lived the life & loved it! Did it all, including work and clean house like a fiend. I did have a cleaning person once every 2 weeks, but usually they were useless. And I loved to go to the various markets & supermarkets & cook! I don’t know how I did it – I don’t remember. I blame it, not on age, but first of all 3 knee replacements on one leg, then COVID, then moving to another state, now…….????
I wish my dealer did car washes! Of course I have to wait to get my car detailed until after the yellow pollen season coming to S. Carolina soon! That gets in all the cracks. And yes, every season I used to spend all 1 weekend washing, waxing, cleaning inside & out & shampooing the carpet of my car. What an insane nut! OMG a leaf blower inside!!?? I got upset when hubby used it in the garage because dust did resettle on the cupboards & cabinets! Now that I’m not going to the gymI remember what my old dermatologist told me – you don’t need to shower every day, it’s bad for your skin, you know what parts need extra attention. He was a wise man. Another doctor recommended a multi-vitamin a day, if you eat a balanced diet. He thought that was enough, anything more gets eliminated by your body, so you’re pi…. away good money!
Oh, we all know who that “editor” is! 😉
Sandy
I love your thoughts! Always gives me a laugh. I feel exactly like you, but I have always hated to exercise. I have asthma and when I was a kid, the only things I was any good at in PE were badminton, table tennis, or archery. If it required running, forget it. I’ve made myself do it from time to time and even joined gyms. But it all fizzled out. I only needed one excuse and that was that. I recently bought a chair yoga/exercise CD for seniors and I have to say, it ain’t too bad. It gets the heart pumping but it doesn’t kill you. I do about 15 minutes and finish it up the next day. I’m even thinking of giving one to my sister. I have a recumbent bike that I ride for 20 minutes or so depending on how good the TV show is. Hubby is a fanatic. He “trains” every day for about 45 minutes, finishing up with a 90-minute swim. He’ll not normal.
Sitting on the sofa doing nothing: I’ve always been a successful practitioner of that non-activity. Coincidentally, just the other day, the members of our “No Girls Allowed” email group were discussing just that. To a man, we all do it, and each of us have/had a spouse who would react with a “What are you DOING?” Carole would just not get it, but she was one who never sat, except when reading. Well, she was an RN, and used to being on her feet all day.
I used to exercise too, including running five miles three times a week. But no mas. Can’t do it anymore because of lower back pain, which I now ascribe to all that exercise. Also used to do 250 sit-ups a day, and that’s likely the real reason that my back is so screwed up. Push-ups too—got good at them in the army, where we had to do the “daily dozen” exercises. No complaints there, as it got me into good shape.
Carole and I used to spend Saturdays cleaning the house together. Her job gave her little time off. She had actually worked 21 hours/day several times. So we decided (she decided) that so little time off was crazy, and that we should get a cleaning lady. Thank God! As usual, Carole was always right!—JKL