At the grocery store checkout line the other day, I noticed the lady in front of me. A small white tag on her shirt was sticking out behind her neck. I briefly thought about telling her, but I hesitated. Then I noticed her entire shirt was inside out. A few years ago, a popular style was to wear some articles of clothing inside out. This wasn’t the case with this woman. She was neat and clean but not on the cutting edge. I didn’t know her, so I decided not to say anything. She may notice it when she gets home and may or may not be embarrassed. I don’t know. What would you have done?
Then, I began to ponder. When is it appropriate to point out to someone they need to make a personal correction in some way or another? If it’s a loved one, even though there may be pushback, I think they should be told. But what if it’s a complete stranger or a casual acquaintance?
Many years ago, I was at an evening party. A gentleman I barely knew was sitting next to me at our table. A long, stiff hair was sticking straight out from one of his bushy eyebrows. I couldn’t help but focus on this one rogue hair. What should I do? I was becoming obsessed. Did I have the courage to say anything? No, but what I did was worse. I asked him to lean in closer toward me. He did. Then I reached up and yanked out the offending eyebrow hair! He let out a little yelp as I did so. Then I explained how much it was really getting on my nerves. Fortunately for me, everyone at the table had a great sense of humor, and plucking out the renegade eyebrow caused a round of raucous laughter. Looking back, I’m unsure if my action was appropriate. However, the gentleman looked much nicer, said nothing adverse about the incident, and we all had a good laugh.
A similar thing happened another time. A neighbor guy stuck his head into my open car window to say hello. A single gray whisker was sticking straight out of the top of his nose – no, not his nostrils – the very top of his nose! I didn’t say anything, and he didn’t hang around long enough for me to become distracted by that lone whisker. A few days later, I saw him again, and the whisker was not only still there – it was even longer! Now, it was beginning to bother me. Should I say anything or not? Why doesn’t his wife tell him? I learned later she had poor vision. I asked my lady friends what I should do, and the consensus was not to say anything. When I saw him weeks later, I noticed the whisker was finally gone…or so I thought. No … it was growing back! And then I had an epiphany. I realized he had finally noticed it, plucked it out, and now it was growing again. I know some of you are wondering why I don’t get a life, but for whatever reason, I am cursed, and my penance is to notice such weird, petty things and fret about them.
For example, what about a piece of spinach in someone’s teeth – do you tell them? I was amazed at the discussion about this on Google. One suggestion was to make eye contact with the person, delicately point to your own tooth, and wipe it off. The problem is they may think you have spinach on your teeth and are just letting them know about it. You know how some folks aren’t quick to catch on. My advice is to tell them and move on with your conversation.
Should a woman ever tell a man his fly is open or his zipper is down? There are several opinions on this learned topic as well. Personally, I tell them. They always look embarrassed, and some even blush. One guy told me a horror story about when he was at his dentist. After he got home, he realized his zipper had been down the entire time. He said he spent a lot of time in the waiting room surrounded by women. Then he heard the young hygienist giggle when he got in the dental chair. His female dentist had him in a fully prone position, and he recalls she also had stifled smiles as she did her dental work. And worst of all, he thinks he heard the young hygienist click her iPhone camera. This would make an excellent Seinfeld episode, but he was annoyed that not one person there had the guts to tell him his zipper was down. Personally, I think he should blame himself for not remembering to zip up!
What should you do when a friend’s underpants show when she bends over? A group of us women golfers had that very dilemma. One of our teammates wore her golf skirt very short. We would be mooned every time she bent over to tee her golf ball up or to pick it up after her maximum eight strokes. Those who noticed – which is all of us – pondered what to do about it. She was very nice, and we all liked her. Should we ask her husband to tell her? Should we write her an anonymous note advising her to wear longer skirts? Should one of us take her aside discreetly and tell her? Of course, no one wanted to do it. So, ultimately, we did nothing and just accepted the situation – after all, it was just us girls.
On the other hand, is it ever appropriate for a man to tell a woman her underwear is showing? My research on this issue revealed various opinions. My most surprising finding was that men like to see women’s underwear! Some men believe women purposely show their underwear to get a man’s attention. How ridiculous is that? If that’s so, it’s certainly not the case with senior women!
Unfortunately, I had my own deja vu golfing episode. Hubby told me my golf skirt was too short one day. He said when I bent over, my tiny little butt showed. Well, he didn’t quite say it that way. Of course, the good news is that he told me. The bad news is that he didn’t tell me until we got home after golfing 18 competitive holes with another couple! He said he didn’t want to upset me during our ten-dollar golf match against our opponents! Good grief! If it isn’t one thing, it’s another!
If someone has toilet paper stuck to their shoe, should you tell them? Why should this be such a sensitive matter? You wouldn’t hesitate to tell them if they had anything else stuck to their shoe. Then again, how does one get toilet paper stuck to their shoe? I can see how that might happen. Usually, you shouldn’t have to say anything because isn’t it reasonable to think within a short time it would become unstuck?
There was one incident where I got immense joy from toilet paper being stuck to someone’s shoe. We had a mean, egotistical manager at work who was always so full of himself. One afternoon, he was scheduled to give a speech in front of a large group of us. As he strode confidently onto the stage, he had a long line of toilet paper trailing behind his right shoe! No one told him, and we were glad. There is karma!
On my way home from the grocery store, I wondered if I should have told that lady in the checkout line that her shirt was on inside out. Once home, I looked in the mirror and was dismayed at my appearance. Before going to the store, I had put on fresh lipstick. I sometimes get nervous while grocery shopping and may lick my lips and even chew them a little. I had smeared my lipstick big time! Bright red streaks of lipstick encircled my lips! I looked like a clown. Do you think anyone noticed? No one said anything! Maybe they thought I wanted to look like that! Who knows?
Truthfully, I hope people can tell me if I need to blow my nose or have something green stuck in my teeth. I don’t even mind if they tell me the little white tag on my blouse is showing – unless they are secretly trying to determine what size I wear. I doubt if they are trying to see how to launder the garment. I want someone to tell me when I have food dripping off my chin – which is happening increasingly more these days!
So what do you think? Would you rather have someone remind you that you are occasionally human and need to clean up your act, or would you rather remain blissfully ignorant?
Have any of these crazy, embarrassing things ever happened to you? Don’t be bashful – spill your guts! Our readers enjoy hearing your stories, and so do I!
4 Comments
My brothers came to the dinner table one night and told us a joke they had heard at school. It goes, Do you have a license to sell hotdogs? No. Punchline is Then you better close up your stand. My parents were appalled but we all laughed even my parents couldn’t hold it in. Soooo to this day if a guy’s fly is open what do I say, Do you have a license….. It takes care of the issue in a light humorous way.
These things happen all the time. I usually tell people about a situation if I think they would be more embarrassed if they weren’t told. At the age of 18, I was jetting off to my first year of college and had a long layover in San Francisco. While casually window shopping in one of the stores, I noticed a very handsome man giving me the eye. Then he came up to me and said, “You have lipstick on your cheek,” and walked away with a smile. My mother had given me a kiss before my flight and her lip print was still on my face! I was so embarrassed. Strangers, including men and women, have tucked in my blouse tag without a word. Some things are better left unsaid.
Roberta, I will always inform a fellow lady when a ‘tag’ is showing. If convenient (so as not to embarrass) I’ll simply say “fashion faux pas” and tuck in the tag. Even total strangers. Key is to be sure it’s done in a discreet/unnoticeable way, just between the two of us. Always receive a genuine thank you. Likewise, I always thank when someone ‘covers’ my own fashion faux pas!
I would have, and did within the past year. We were in line for an event and I casually mentioned her tag was showing. It was a sweater type garment and we laughed when discovering the whole thing was inside out. She was so appreciative. Over the years I have informed about zippers and TP situations, and in return have thankfully been told about my mishaps, too. Although when my hair is every which direction, it seems no one tells me and I wish they would. I haven’t told people of the stray nose or ear hairs, but would want to know myself. It’s that mascara in the creases of my eyes that hubby is good about telling me. Lipstick on teeth is another thing my friends are good about telling me.
Years ago I was doing a sales presentation to Ford Motors selling a chemical to clean their ovens (where they baked trucks). The guys were all smiles and it had gone very well. I got in the car, looked in the rear view mirror saying, “dang you’re good!” to myself as I saw this big black sesame seed in between my front and second tooth. No wonder they were all smiles!! I nearly died! I never ate Arby’s chicken sandwiches before a meeting again.